at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Your cock deserves a montage
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize