There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
