Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
