No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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