last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
