And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
time to smoke my breakfast
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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