He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
