her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
