was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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