Plan B is the new Plan A
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
