I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
