if you like me you must not know who I am
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
