my phone needs a breathalizer
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
