All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize