Pappa wants mamma naked
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
