# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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