Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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