i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
