I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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