The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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