You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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