And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
