Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
