My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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