May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
