I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
