I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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