That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize