OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
