i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
