I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
