belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
