Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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