I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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