You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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