Walk of Shame today included voting.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
