Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We have started to decorate penises.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
