pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
