I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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