im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
