his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize