3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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