I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You pole danced in your parka.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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