he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
