Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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