hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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