i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
