Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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