i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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