Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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