Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
