My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
