i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize