my room smells like sperm. sweet.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
