So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
