Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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