so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
