from now on my penis is your penis
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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