I didn't shave. On purpose
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
