Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
