i would punch a child for taco bell
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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