ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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