i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
