That's intense
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
