Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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