she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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