You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize