Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize