Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
