dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize