Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
