I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
