wakey wakey hands off snakey
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
