I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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