Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
