I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
