pedialite and red bull = repair kit
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I supernannyed him into submission
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
