God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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