marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
