we have officially lost it.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We just shotgunned beers for America
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
