but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
