Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
